I’m Aware: No Short Cuts

“ ‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’ “ (Matthew 13:29, 30 KJV)

For the last ten weeks, I have been head over heels in love, hugs, kisses, smiles, screams, cries, breast milk, pee, and poop! On January 23, 2014, I gave birth to Genesis Olivia Middleton, an 8lb 4oz bundle of joy and HARD WORK. Motherhood is HARD WORK. It makes me deeply aware of two very important transformative lessons: 1. There are no short cuts in life. You get out what you put in. 2. Perfection is not some utopian ideal. Perfection is about balance and being whole. The weeds always come up with the wheat. This is my Ode to Poop!

In the thirteenth chapter of The Book of Matthew, Jesus teaches life lessons to a multitude of people in parables. Specifically, Jesus explains the process of sowing good seeds and reaping the harvest. He tells the people that when your seeds sprout you will see weeds. Do not uproot them, because that will destroy the wheat. Wait until the wheat is fully mature, burn the weeds, and then, enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Did Jesus have an infant? Jesus must have had a baby!!! I kid, I kid, but seriously. If you know my story, you know that delivering my daughter healthy, beautiful, and alive was no $2 happy hour in New York City. By the time Genesis arrived, I had lost a son, Joshua, full-term and gained 70lbs I know my knees were not prepared to carry. Harvesting a child is hard work. But by the grace of God, I incubated Genesis with faith, hope, and love. Church, Therapy, baby research, and my husband were also blessings.

Even still after all the blood, sweat, and prayers it took to become a mother, I, too, was not exempt from the grueling, exhausting, and demanding schedule nurturing a new human being requires. I, too, had to clean up poop amongst other things, and I was not prepared. There are no books well written enough to prepare the first-time mom and dad.

Soooooo, there I was trying to be Mrs. Perfect, Mrs. Attached Parent, and Mrs. New Mother of the year. GeeGee was breastfed every two hours 24/7. When she was not sleeping at night, she was in my arms being held skin-to-skin all day long. No one was allowed to hold her accept her father and I. I did not sleep a wink the first two weeks of her life, because I needed to watch her breathe. Every sound, facial expression, and action she made was thoroughly researched via my tons of parenting books, Google, and babycenter.com. I had waited two years for this moment, and I could not fail. At least until, I did.

I did everything by the book to a “T,” and I ended up in the emergency room. No worries, Genesis was and is great! I, however, thought I was having a heart attack.

I showed up in the emergency room with chest pains, heart palpitations, chills, and tears from guilt that I had left my two-week old home without breast milk. After all was said and done, EKG’s, CAT scan, Blood drawn, I was a perfectly healthy 26 year-old. All of my ailments were attributed to my over anxious lifestyle and mindset as a new mother.

While having some much needed “me time” in a hospital bed with an ER nurse as my impromptu therapist, I realized two things:

One, there are no short cuts in life. Whatever we want to achieve will require a lot of patience, focus, and commitment to get, and then, three times that amount to keep. If I want a healthy, kind, intelligent, and beautiful daughter, I have to clean her, feed her, teach her, love her, and be available for her until the day I see Jesus. People who cut corners in life come up short. If I do not do all these things, I will have a dirty, neglected, mean-spirited, uneducated, and ignorant child. We reap what we sew.

Two, perfect is about balance. God created day and night, rain and sunshine, man and woman for a reason. One is not better than they other; they all are necessary and beautiful in their own light. A baby without poop is a sick baby. Unbalance is also a sickness. Too much of one thing is called, CANCER. A lot of us quit before the fire burns out, but the fire is where champions are made! We must go through some stuff to get what we deserve. In our tests and struggles, we are strengthened as good seeds that last!

Do you want to last? Do you want your dreams to be fulfilled with fortitude? Surrender to your process the “good” and the “bad.” The only way to reap the harvest is to till the land, plant your seeds, water the land, wait for sunlight, and watch them grow. The day to uproot the weeds of life is coming. Until then, be well stocked in wet wipes. J/k

Clarissa J.