I’m Aware: A Request For Prayer

Why do we hide our greatness? Why are we claimers of mediocrity in fear of being seen for who we truly are?

What are we afraid of?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind?”

2 Timonthy 1:7

If life promises to challenge us irregardless of our pressing toward the mark or not, why don’t we choose to press toward the mark. At least we know that we are working towards a living of our own heart’s desire.

I be talking to ya’ll. (Purposely written this way.) But I really be talking to myself and sharing the internal dialogue my mind has with my soul. I feel in my spirit that if I am in need of this type of dialogue and inspirational inquiry, surely other human beings share my sentiments. I may or may not be wrong, but I will share any way.

I dare us ALL to be great. I dare us ALL to BE who God has called us to BE. We are HIS beloved children who HE originally purported to BE made in HIS image, we are Gods on earth as Our Father is in heaven. HE desired that we BE fruitful, multiply, replenish and subdue the earth and have DOMINION over it together.

But even Adam and Eve doubted HIS goodness and they were living in the abundant garden of life.

Which begs the question, why do we think we are without need of spiritual practice to keep centered in the will of God 24/7 365, always in all ways?

If Adam and Eve lived in paradise and they doubted God, us lowly sinners in a world of chaos are doomed without the Holy Spirit dwelling in our inner (wo)man day in and day out.

How do we expect to choose life every second of every minute of every hour of every day for all eternity and on earth as it is in Heaven if we do not practice it?

Noooooo! We wait for trauma, drama, burdens, and suffering to push us back into alignment. But look at your life, if HE can do what HE did with your rock bottom pain if/when you gave it to HIM, imagine how HE can transform your life daily, if you let HIM?

Am I making sense? Does anyone out there touch and agree? If so, comment.

I feel it like fire in my hands and my feet. I just want to BE better. I want to BE the best me I can BE. I am not living and breathing just to survive. Nooooo!

Three years ago my life was abysmal! My first love, my great-grandmother Clarabelle, was on the verge of dying from cancer. I was pregnant with our son, Joshua, that would never take a breath. The doctors warned me about his potential suffering, but I was too overwhelmed with grief and my mother’s rock bottom drug addiction to focus on it.

My husband and I had already suffered one painful miscarriage, so we could not fathom anything worst happening. We moved forward the only way we knew how. We put our trust in God. We were newlyweds and we happily in love, but we were surrounded by a lot of pain and uncertainty. We moved to my hometown of Philadelphia to be closer to my family, but then unexpected storms flipped my family upside down.

The death angel, drug addictions, mental illnesses, economic disasters, and deep rooted pain came thru like the grim reaper and destroyed everything I ever knew and loved. All I had left was my faith and this is why I started The Clarissa Joan Experience. I needed to write about my life and how I applied the Word of God to keep me sane and faithful in the midst of it ALL.

See I come from a very huge family with a lot of love. I grew up perfect! It is hard for some people to understand how I can say that when my mother and my father did not raise me, but they put me in the best hands in spite of their short comings. I was raised by a love village. I received so much love growing up that it is utterly indescribable.

So imagine, leaving home to live out your dreams of promise then returning home to find everything you loved and were inspired by in utter turmoil and devastation…

I had to believe that God did not show me what it was like to be loved and lifted up unconditionally and then take it all away in a blink of an eye without purpose.

This is where Romans 8:28 comes into play. “For we know that ALL things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to HIS purpose.” I stood on that word like my life depended on it. My life does depend on it.

I know what I know that I know. I am only 28, but I have seen a lot of living and dying. I am not just talking about births and burials. I am talking about how one decision can impact the life of generations to come for better or worst without the decision maker having any implications and understanding of said impact.

One decision, one happy or bitter heart, discerning how best to move forward at any given time can and does affect us all. We are ALL one. We are called to BE ONE. We are one body in Christ each with our own functioning value for the whole. We are ALL connected and we ALL need each other in order to thrive!

This I know for sure.

I know what HE promised is true. I write this to you ALL three years later. I have had the best year of my entire life! From giving birth to our second living child on the anniversary of my grandmothers death to my gift of writing and ministry making room for me.  From heart broken, depressed, and purposeless to joyful, grateful, and living happily. I am once again surrounded by love always in ALL ways, and it is because I trusted God with my life even when my suffering made me want to doubt HIM. HE gave me beauty for ashes. HE turned my situation ALL the way around.

HE restored my broken heart and revealed to me how deep HE loved me for me and how HIS love alone was sufficient, more than enough, for me to BE that which I am. By HIS grace, and nothing else, I am what I am.

I know what it means to BE alive and to BE enough and to BE a resource for the source, Jesus Christ son of God. I now have a spiritual practice and a praise in my heart that orders my steps every day.

There is so much more in store for me and you, and we’ve got to run on to see what it’s going to BE. We must ALL answer the call to BE HIS on earth as it is in Heaven. We are here to enjoy life by lifting one another up with our love and our gifts.

I commit my life to sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ and to uplifting my generation with the truth of God’s Word as a living witness to the depth and height and power of HIS love. I am committed to doing a new thing. My ministry will not be church as usual, because I do not believe that Jesus ever intended for the church to dwell within the confines of four walls, but rather in the hearts of HIS people.

I am being prepared to see made manifest a church radically different than what we see today in terms of structure and impact. Like Jesus, I am going to meet the people where they are. Same gospel, same truth, same spirit of worship, but a different platform. With like minded folks, we will build God’s temple in the hearts of man beginning with the (wo)men in the mirror first.

Like me before my spiritual practice, I know that there are many folks out there who attend Sunday worship every week, but still feel lost, disconnected, and unfulfilled from God Monday – Saturday. Many traditional church goers have no idea about what it means to live a spiritual life aside from religious dogma. God has called me to contribute my gifts, my talents, and my testimony for the purpose of gathering my generation, the churchless millennials, in HIS name.

I have suffered, but like Simon Peter I have been strengthened and tested to BE of genuine faith. Now that I am converted and committed to restoration, I must inspire others to run on and finish their race.

Please pray for me as I accept my call. I will pray for you too.


To God Be The Glory